Summer Vacation

For Zabrina her summer break began last Thursday 7.23.09 ~
Zabrina has had one week of summer vacation
Jeff and Zabrina went to the Dave Matthews concert this past week
they had amazing seats and had a perfect evening ~ thank you God!
As Bri had radiation Dave was her music of choice ~ she called it "her get mad songs" that got her through the treatments.
This is the time of year that Bri & Jeff go on vacation ~ but finding the trip that fits with the doctors limitations was taxing. So they have decided to do some short trips with time for rest built in. The staycation is defining vacation for now.
The physical and mental is still big ~ thank you for your prayers
God is at work

The First Day of the Rest of Zabrina's Life

Today was Zabrina's last radiation treatment. This part of the road to recovery has been difficult both mentally and physically. Bri's body has been under assault in so many ways for 8 months.
Sometimes, I would think, when we told the doctors of what this was doing to her body, that it would have helped if we had known ahead of time. But there is no preparing yourself for what unfolds with radiation.
Now, Zabrina is for sure not ready to party ~ yet. The doctors said her fatigue would be a lot and it is. They said, this is like recovering from surgery ~ 4 to 6 weeks. But, as of 10:00a this morning ~ no more for her ~ now her body will start rebuilding.
So Zabrina is now ready to walk back into her life

Linda, Mere, Zabrina and I got a pedicure. Lillian came with us too.
We had a fun girls day complete with lunch and laughter.

So the picture is of all of our pretty toes, as Bri walks back into her life, we are all right beside her and holding on tight!

God has answered so many prayers ~ Thank you for lifting Zabrina up to our most awesome God!
Pray for strength and peace of mind for Bri as she reclaims her life

The count down

Zabrina has used a paper chain with her kindergartners as an end of the school year count down. We needed the same visual count down for radiation. She has one for her car, one at her house and one at our house. When a treatment is completed, if she is at our house ~ we get great delight out of shredding the link of paper. Zabrina has 8 more treatments ~ The road of recovery that began December 8th 2008 has hit Zabrina from every direction but we look forward to life after all of this knowing God has great plans!
Keep praying

The Race

Marcie, a friend of Bri's, told Bri she was praying for Zabrina, she said, she got it regarding the radiation treatment. She compared it to running a race. In the last mile of the race, the runners body is screaming no way ~ I can't do this! For Bri, radiation is the last mile. Now, we all know that Bri says the only way that she would be running is if someone was chasing her,
but Zabrina said the analogy really helped.
Tomorrow is #14 ~ that is half way

Keep lifting Zabrina up to our most awesome God
Suzanne

Pray and hold on tight

Zabrina has had a week of radiation. We all were told by the medical staff "that compared to chemo, radiation would be a walk in the park." Well ~ so far that has not been the case. The set up (a 2 hours session) had to be repeated. Then the machine that administers the radiation kept turning off, so what should be a 10 minute process took an hour and that has happened twice. Bri lays on a metal table so she has had a lot of back and leg pain. Bri says, they should say ~ it is difficult in different ways compared to chemo. Now, we are holding onto the hope that next week will be closer to a walk in the park. Everyone tells Bri how good she looks and she does but she says ~ she is waiting for her insides to catch up. Because, on the inside she feels like jello.
Thank you for praying and holding on tight to Zabrina like Debi Nicholls did for her friend Anne Hjelle, who was being attached by a mountain lion. Debi said, "she was not letting go!"

Seeing Pink!

Thank you!
Over the past several weeks Zabrina has heard from friends and family who walked in the Race for the Cure and the Strides Against Breast Cancer.
We are all so moved by your love and support for Zabrina.
A statement that I continue to repeat ~ I so do not want my daughter in this place but I am so thankful for the prayers and out pour of support you all have given Bri.
Thank you to Rob, Sarah, Jeff, Marcia, Chris, Jayme, Kim, Carl, Alana, Lisa, Dr. Friedman, Laura, Valerie and Jena. These are the ones we know about ~ if you walked or gave a donation let me know and I will add your name.

Zabrina is still on the road to recovery
physically she is getting stronger
emotionally Bri has stretches of good with some roller coaster moments
really ~ we all still have the roller coaster moments
We were told, we are still in the "heat of it" a lot is behind Zabrina and we thank God for His powerful healing hand. Keep offering up prayers to God for Zabrina.
Bri still has radiation (6 weeks)and the side of effects of chemo

The picture is of Rob and Sarah ~ they walked in Columbus for The Race for the Cure
Oh what a brother and sister-in-law do for their sister/sister-in-law:)

Baby Steps Forward

On Thursday, Zabrina went to school and did chapel with her students. She talked about God being the vine and we are the branches,and we are to bear fruit. Then the children traced their hands to be the branches and added grapes that they cut out. One of her little girls in the class, told Bri she found out that she could let her hair grow and then cut it and give it to Zabrina. How caring it that! So if Bri shows up as a red head ~ you'll know where the locks came from. Everyday, I see more of my daughter returning. I did not realize her road to recovery would also include Zabrina having to reclaim her life ~ she is doing it ~ she is made of some amazing stuff.
The picture with this post is one of the gifts Zabrina received from MHCA ~ they sponsored her surgery. From the day Zabrina was diagnosed, her students have prayed and believed that God has already answered. God tells us to have a "child like faith"
and we have been given many examples to model after:)
Friday is an appt with the radiation oncologist ~ Bri would like to skip this step and honestly ~ all of us who love her would like that too. But Dr. Friedman says it is a 3 step process and this step has to be taken. Keep praying ~ I know you are ~ thank you

Finding the new normal

As you know the surgery went as planned. Zabrina recovered very well and the pain was maintained. She was sent home with a drain to prevent infection which was not only burden physically but it made her feel tide to the hospital. Last Wednesday we had the post-op follow up and everything looked good and he pulled the drain. That drain must have been attached to a switch inside my wife because she walked out of that appointment a different person. The sun was shining, she had no more tubes attached, and just a feeling that we just might make it through this.

Everyday has been better since. The energy level is increasing slowly but surely, more importantly is that her ambition to do more is increasing rapidly. So well infact that we escaped on a whim to Columbus for the weekend to see Rob and Sarah. A great low key fun visit. We made it over to Fishinger and Kenny for service on Sunday morning to say some thank yous and meet with some people who have been in this battle with us. Everyone was thrilled to see Zabrina and couldn't believe how well she was doing.

Sometimes we forget she is only a little over a week post-op, and I know she wants to be able to do more. She does great for about 3hrs than can use a little lay down to recharge. Everyday is a little better physically and could not be more proud of her.

My Phoenix has risen from the ashes.

Surgery complete

Surgery is over, she is headed to recovery. Our new life begins now. Thank you all for the prayers and support.

Will update more when we know more.

1636hrs.: Well we are in a private room thanks to some string pulling by friends on the inside. The surgery went as planned and only took about an hour and a half, right on time. The nurses and staff are exceptional at Richmond General, very nice and obviously care about their patients. We had a nice turnout of friends and family. It was a much more emotional experience for me than I had anticipated. She will more than likely be staying the 23hrs 59min. 59sec. that they will allow her just to manage pain and get some of the anesthesia out of her system. The road has not ended but we never thought that 4 months would go so quick and that we are already to this point. Our new life started today and our Phoenix has risen from the ashes. Never underestimate the strength of a woman, as if you needed to be told that.

More to follow, thank you all again.

Some Updates

Zabrina had a PET scan 4.13
Dr. Friedman called her that night to say good news
a cancer free scan ~ the chemo did its job
and thank God, Zabrina's body tolerated those treatments
tomorrow is Zabrina's surgery
Pray for her
Zabrna says "her faith, family, friends, God sent doctors and prayer
is what has taken her through this journey

Katrina told Zabrina she was going to pray
"that all of this leaves Zabrina as fast as it came."
That gives me a very good visual
because this did come on so quick
and I now envision God taking it all away that quick.

At the end of one of Zabrina's doctors appt
with great compassion, the doctor told her, she needed
to get tough and concentrate on getting healthy
So she has been working on "getting tough" to get
through tomorrow.

Spring Time!

Spring arrived March 20th ~ I remember a friend, whose sister is now cancer free, share how she watched her sister blossom like spring after a long winter.
I held onto that visual. Now I can say, I am witnessing my daughter emerging from a long winter with the spring time beauty that God blessed her with.

Bri finished her last treatment ~ that means 4 months have passed
Surgery is next on the schedule ~ keep the prayers flowing, this is a lot
I look forward to my message to all of you saying it is summer and Bri is done with radiation. Plus summer is Zabrina's favorite season

God at work

one more treatment

tomorrow Zabrina has her last taxol treatment. While we are very thankful this is the last chemo treatment and her body is responding so well to the treatments, it is still going to be a very tough week for Bri. This treatment gives a lot of arthritis like joint pain throughout her entire body. One day she said to me "my body hurts from the top of my head to the bottom of my feet, then she said you know, none of my organ hurt though." A blessing is she does not remember this pain from treatment to treatment. God erases the memory and Bri says that is a good thing because she is not sure if she could do it again if she remembered the pain.

We had a ladies day at our church on Saturday and Zabrina did come for most of the day. God sent an angel by the name of Lisa, who had breast cancer when she was 30 years old ~ she has been cancer free for 7 1/2 years (yes you count the months too). Zabrina has not talked with anyone who had breast cancer at 30. For me, witnessing the hand of God as Lisa and Zabrina talked was very humbling. A line from a song that we sing at church is ~
We are standing on holy ground,
For the Lord is present and where He is,is holy
I witnessed Gods awesome love for our daughter ~ and we indeed were on holy ground!
I know you all are praying and I wanted to share this God moment with you

We were headed to an appointment with the surgeon and bri was feeling overwhelmed and scared ~
Kristen texted Zabrina and said, "cancer has no power over you, because the blood of Christ has covered you and He has all authority over you"!

Luck "O" the Irish

Well happy St. Patricks day everyone! Just a little update and time line for ya. Not sure if we leaked the good news about the genetic testing. Zabrina was tested for the genetic strands that would pre-dispose her to this nasty disease and she passed with flying colors. She always has been a good test taker. What this means is that she does not have to have a bilateral mastectomy or deal with the whole ovarian issue. What a relief to not have to worry about passing this on, or dealing with more surgery.
We just had round 7 of 8 yesterday and it is going as it has in the past. The crazy thing about these drugs is you can set your watch to the side effects and how she is going to feel. Dr. Friedman is still very impressed with her progress and we have him do exams just so we can here him say everything feels normal. Last round of chemo is the 30th then we gear up for surgery. We will be meeting with the surgen next week to learn more about the procedure and what to expect. She will go for a PET scan the third week in April and surgery the last week, so mark your calanders for some seriouse praying time. Radiation will start about four weeks after surgery. So we should be done with the physical side this nightmare by end of July. The phsycological and emotional stuff will last a lifetime.
We are so thankful for all that has been provided for us and cannot thank you all enough for what you have done.

We Feel the Love!

For Zabrina's B-day a couple of her gifts were fun sandals for summertime and as the kodak moment shows we had a pedicure! Focusing on pretty toes and lazy crazy days of summer that call for sandals, is a prelude that proclaims we are on the other side of treatments, surgery and radiation. A recurring statement I make is that "on the other side of this, I know we are going to all be good."
Thank you to so many of you for saying happy birthday to Zabrina in so many loving ways. At church we had a beautiful hat and scarf day ~ many of the girls at church wore scarfs/hats to say to Zabrina "we are supporting you". Bob, thanks for spending time with Jeff turning money into sound. Tiff ~ on Monday you were an answer to prayer for Zabrina, armed with the word of God.

A girls lunch with Erin and Gabriella ~ fun.
But before we get to the other side:
Monday is the next taxol treatment ~ one more tough step for Bri. Keep praying ~ I so don't want Zabrina on this path but I also know God is healing her ~ spirit, mind and body.

Happy B-day Zabrina

Rob and Sarah came to Mentor this weekend to celebrate Zabrina's b-day
Zabrina's b-day is Thursday March 5th
For sure having your b-day while going through treatments gives an emotional spin like none other.
I remind myself, that Zabrina is going through a season of life that will pass
but sometimes the minute to minute can be so overwhelming
Tomorrow is the next taxol treatment at 9:00a ~ keep the prayers flowing

Share with Zabrina

Zabrina had her first taxol treatment Monday ~ Jeff's observation that taxol leaves Zabrina in a much different place than the (AC) treatment did, is oh so true. With AC her mind and body were both beat up by the treatment. Taxol leaves her with a lot of joint pain but her mind is very clear ~ Being alert is good but it also leaves her with a lot of time to process what has happened, what is happening and what is yet to happen on her road to recovery.
Ok, with that all said ~ I have a request from all of you ~ one of Bri's comments is she misses her life. On 12.8.08 life as Zabrina knew it was put on hold. Everyday that Bri was at MHCA she brought home a cute story about one of the children.
Share with her the lighter side of what is going on in your life.
For those of you who have children or work them share your cute stories.
You can email, text, add it to one of your cards that you send to her or leave a voice mail.
Some of you are already doing this and she enjoys sharing those stories with her family. Sonya ~ a day in the life of her children, Mere ~ creates a visual that leaves Zabrina laughing. Kim, I shared the story about Liam and "the pledge".
Also let her know you are lifting her up in prayer and holding on to her tight. If you saw the story where the mountain lion was trying to take her friend and she would not let go, that is how tight we are holding onto Zabrina.
Bri needs to know you are in this fight with her and holding on tight!

Happy Valentines Day

First, thank you to all of you who continue to express love and concern in your very own personal ways. From a phone call saying consider yourself hugged, to a card that says I've got your back! Those are all such encouragements!
I have realized that this road to recovery has many twists and turns. Some days almost have some normal moments, then there are days that we fall into a pot hole and have to climb out.
Monday, Zabrina starts round 2 ~ there are 4 treatments to round 2 ~
Dr Friedman says this round has concerns but that Bri is done with the really bad ones.
Since this will be the first one of this round, we will spend up to 5 hours for this treatment. Keep the prayers going up to our awesome God.
An example of some normal moments is Zabrina decorated cupcakes for Valentines Day for her students at MHCA ~ I took them into her class and they were very excited ~ telling me how much they love Mrs. Lee.

To all the followers we don't know about

I would like to make a request to all of you who visit the blog and are not signed up to please do so. You don't have to leave any comments, just sign up so we know your there. We know you are out there tracking Zabrina's progress and it would just be neat to know who's following along. Don't feel pressured to participate, but by all means don't hesitate to sign up. You are all now invited to come out of the shadows and be recognized, and by all means feel free to leave a comment or thought. There is a link on the right side of the site for Prayers, Scriptures , and Well Wishes if you do not want to make a comment about a posting you can do so there.

Thanks

Last of the worst

By the time most of you read this we will be well into round 4. The last week or so has had it's share of ups and downs and in between. From a procedure that holds a silver lining, to a meeting that pulled the rug out form under us and back to zero again, it has been quite the ride. The good news is we are back on track again thanks to the great Dr. Friedman. Once again he has come through for us and I truly believe he shares our love for Zabrina.

This experience has opened our eyes to many things, and Zabrina and I can't get over the impact that this disease has had on us and that's not all negative. Let's just say that things have been put into perspective. Not that things were that out of perspective, but the insight that comes from "tragedy" can be very inspiring. Just tonight I was telling the wife that when I discuss our ordeal with people it is not in a negative light, strangely it is with a message of faith, hope, and pride. This process has pushed me closer to the Lord and my wife, and for this I could not be more thankful. The pride I feel in sharing how strong Zabrina is cannot easily be expressed. I know she didn't sign up for this, but she is truly an inspiration, and I am confident that there will be even more incredible things that come from this. Don't get me wrong this sucks on many levels and I can really only give my perspective with a touch of what she is going through.

We have talked a lot about how a few months ago our biggest problem was deciding what color to paint the living room. Now we are making decisions that really matter. Please, please, please, put things in your own lives in perspective. If her going through this has no other effect than those we love taking stock in what really matters than this just might have been worth it. We now live life 15 minutes at a time and that is a beauty and a beast. Right now we do it because of physical reasons, but we pray that this is the way we remain when this is over. By living 15 minutes at a time you take it all in, the good and the bad, we feel our time and not just let it go by now.

This is not the worst thing that could be happening, although it does rank up there on the scale. Let's all make this experience be a permanent change in how we approach life. Take the time today to tell the people in your life that you love them, don't get in a rush to move on to the next task, and be thankful for the blessings that you have and not bemoan the things that you feel are missing. If everyone does this than it takes cancers power away and gives this whole mess some real purpose.

Thanks to all of the snow and ice we started getting some water leaking through our picture window. Any other time this would have been a big deal, now we just say put a towel down. So all of you "put a towel down" over the things that seem like big deals and put things back in perspective.

God Bless

p.s. The picture is of the best sundae ever. We enjoyed this on our anniversary cruise while at downtown Disney. It is one of those things that we will forever think back on and count as one of our blessings. It was 15 minutes of shared bliss with my wife that I would not give back for the world.

one more day...

Zabrina had a procedure done today, she is recovering this evening. Last night we had a bringing it to Jesus in prayer meeting. Tiffany, Kristen, Mona, Zabrina, Jeff and I poured out our hearts to God. First, we talked and laughed a lot which was amazingly good medicine. Kristen's story about buying her son a Jesus statue from the dollar store and Tiffany saying "I thought Jesus was free to us, I did not know he cost a dollar".
As we held hands and prayed, I realized the power of a circle of those who call on the name of the Lord.
So, as we moved through the events for Zabrina today, I envisioned the numerous prayers that surrounded us.
again thank you for your prayers

FYI
Zabrina's next treatment will be next Monday 2.2.09
The treatment was moved back a week because of today procedure