on the beach of st thomas

what a difference a year makes! One year ago today Zabrina was sitting in "the chair" receiving taxol ~ a five hour chemo treatment. Today Zabrina and Jeff are sitting on the beach of St Thomas. I praise, praise God, for His healing hand over Zabrina and for being her great physician. Life has a different normal ~ Zabrina is finding her way, a friend who also had a mastectomy, told Bri it goes with you everywhere, even on vacation. Thank you for your continued prayers, love and support for our family.

Thankful to God

Hope all of you had a Thanksgiving that was filled with blessings. Jeff, Zabrina, Robert, Sarah, Rob and I, shared a meal together and are so aware of our many answered prayers.
Last year, the week of Thanksgiving, is when Bri went to the doctor for the lump and saw the surgeon 12.1.08, who took the biopsy and a week later 12.8.08 gave Bri the diagnoses. That week was filled with many test, we all say we had the "deer in the headlight look". We went where they said to go and did what they said to do. On Friday, Dr. Friedman gave us the plan and Bri started chemo. So, as these dates draw closer, I must say we all are taken back. Thankful to God, to be one year past this but for sure is a vivid reality. Looking forward to this time of Bri's life to be a distant memory.

Keep Bri in your prayers as these days unfold. She says she would like the calendar to move to January.

If you give a mouse a cookie

Today, Zabrina is taking her class to see the play,
If you give a mouse a cookie.
Observing my daugher, doing normal every day life is so nice. She is doing well, for sure tired at the end of the day. Bri was encouraged that Dr Friedman was very impressed that she is working full time. One of her students, said to Zabrina, "do you want to know how I am today"? Bri ask him, how he was and he said, "I am having a good day" those very cute comments from a 5 year old fills her up like nothing else.
Keep praying and we praise God for your love and prayers.

pamering by Kathleen

Zabrina spent some time in Kathleen's chair at Ladies and Gentlemen. A time of pampering! Zabrina said a little color, a little cut and a lot of love. The "new do" is cute. Also a praise the Lord, Bri met with her reconstruction surgeon, she has choices. Bri says from chemo, surgery and radiation ~ Bri was not given any options. But for reconstruction she does have choices PTL. Thank you for the prayers. We find so much comfort and strength from your prayers

Fun

very nice to be able to say, with everyday life is moving towards a different new normal we are so thankful to God for so many answered prayers for Zabrina. Really, all of are finding our new different normal ~ seeing more of Zabrina b/c (before cancer)returning is a gift to those who love her. There is still recovering from the chemo/surgery/radiation taking place in Zabrina ~ she is amazing ~
When all of us have fun normal moments ~ we savor them and take them in on a different level, I can not explain. One of those, is the pic with this post ~ Bri and Jeff decorated the pumpkins and Bri said they laughed a lot while creating their princess and pirate.
Laughter is good!
Give prayers of thanksgiving to God and his continued healing power upon Zabrina.

THANK YOU GOD!

Bri got the lymph nodes and tissue is all clear report this morning
PRAISE THE LORD ~ really stop and praise God for the healing he has done. Yesterday was Rosh Hashanah, so Bri was told if the one reading the results was Jewish, we would not hear until today. For sure last night was a long evening. Jeff called Lisa this morning and got the results. This is huge for confidence building and for bri walking into her life. The road to recovery is definitely feeling good.

when you pray

Early tomorrow morning is Zabrina's pet scan. Pray no light. This is another step in walking away from cancer and Zabrina walking into her life. So tonight lift Zabrina up to our most awesome God.

we felt the love

Over Labor day weekend, we had a family picnic with the davlin family. We had not seen any of the family since the diagnoses. Part of walking back into Zabrina's life is being part of events that were very normal before but now because her circle had gotten so small because of being so sick, this is all new. Thank you to the family ~ you all were amazing ~ you were loving, compansionate mixed with a lot of laughter. I loved watching Zabrina's and her aunts interacting!

This is a praise, praise God post
Zabrina had a great first week of school
Your many prayers for strength and confidence for Zabrina's were answered by our awesome God
The first three days Zabrina said she was on an adrenalin rush
Thank you to the Knipps for the balloon bouquet that welcomed Zabrina to her class room Monday morning
To the staff of MHCA, the parents and students ~ we feel the love
Kim you have got the touch ~ you and Tink:)
Keep praying ~ Tomorrow starts week two

Ready

Today Zabrina's road to recovery is taking her to school ~ her first day back to work after nine months
When she got up this morning ~ she put her watch on and realized, she has not worn it for nine months, it was still on EST.
Three weeks ago we began the transformation of her class room
the desks are painted and in place, bulletin boards welcoming the students back are up and Zabrina's back to school supplies are in place.
On one of Zabrina's "good" days during chemo, we went to her class room ~ she sat at her desk and said "I love the smell of new paper, pencils and all that goes with a class room setting."
I believe in God's perfect timing and I praise God Zabrina is in her k/1 class as I am writing this using her God given talent ~ teaching children!
Pray for God to give her the strength and confidence as she reclaims this part of her life.

Happy 2nd Aniversary Jeff & Zabrina

Two years ago today at 11:00a Zabrina and Jeff became husband and wife! Bri and Jeff planned every aspect of their wedding day and the day reflected the beautiful beginning of two becoming one.
Bri says people tell you the first year is tough ~ there were some minor adjustments but the first year was all good.
The second year held health issues that they could have never imagined. Linda (Jeff's mom) and I would say they are so young and should still be celebrating being "newly weds". Now that did get put on hold for a time.
Today they are celebrating 2 years and beginning their third year of marriage. Because of the past nine months, Zabrina and Jeff connect on a level in ways only the two them can know. As mom and mother-in-law, I smile when I observe them together but oh, I so would not want them to ever had to have this be part of their story!
Because of the GREAT I AM, I know their strength will rise as they wait upon the Lord

Walking into her life

On face book, Zabrina wrote words from a song about "I will breathe in and breathe out and Put one foot in front of the other and Take one day at a time" She is walking back into her life.
This recovery has so many layers. Zabrina felt like when the last radiation treatment was done, that she laid down her guns. As gruelling as chemo, surgery and radiation was and the recovery from each, Zabrina saw those as her guns that she was firing at the enemy(cancer). I was sharing this with Becky and I loved her response. She said, "Zabrina may have laid down those guns but oh the guns she is going to pick up, with one in each hand, oh the good she is going to do!" With each passing week Zabrina is stronger ~keep praying

Summer Vacation

For Zabrina her summer break began last Thursday 7.23.09 ~
Zabrina has had one week of summer vacation
Jeff and Zabrina went to the Dave Matthews concert this past week
they had amazing seats and had a perfect evening ~ thank you God!
As Bri had radiation Dave was her music of choice ~ she called it "her get mad songs" that got her through the treatments.
This is the time of year that Bri & Jeff go on vacation ~ but finding the trip that fits with the doctors limitations was taxing. So they have decided to do some short trips with time for rest built in. The staycation is defining vacation for now.
The physical and mental is still big ~ thank you for your prayers
God is at work

The First Day of the Rest of Zabrina's Life

Today was Zabrina's last radiation treatment. This part of the road to recovery has been difficult both mentally and physically. Bri's body has been under assault in so many ways for 8 months.
Sometimes, I would think, when we told the doctors of what this was doing to her body, that it would have helped if we had known ahead of time. But there is no preparing yourself for what unfolds with radiation.
Now, Zabrina is for sure not ready to party ~ yet. The doctors said her fatigue would be a lot and it is. They said, this is like recovering from surgery ~ 4 to 6 weeks. But, as of 10:00a this morning ~ no more for her ~ now her body will start rebuilding.
So Zabrina is now ready to walk back into her life

Linda, Mere, Zabrina and I got a pedicure. Lillian came with us too.
We had a fun girls day complete with lunch and laughter.

So the picture is of all of our pretty toes, as Bri walks back into her life, we are all right beside her and holding on tight!

God has answered so many prayers ~ Thank you for lifting Zabrina up to our most awesome God!
Pray for strength and peace of mind for Bri as she reclaims her life

The count down

Zabrina has used a paper chain with her kindergartners as an end of the school year count down. We needed the same visual count down for radiation. She has one for her car, one at her house and one at our house. When a treatment is completed, if she is at our house ~ we get great delight out of shredding the link of paper. Zabrina has 8 more treatments ~ The road of recovery that began December 8th 2008 has hit Zabrina from every direction but we look forward to life after all of this knowing God has great plans!
Keep praying

The Race

Marcie, a friend of Bri's, told Bri she was praying for Zabrina, she said, she got it regarding the radiation treatment. She compared it to running a race. In the last mile of the race, the runners body is screaming no way ~ I can't do this! For Bri, radiation is the last mile. Now, we all know that Bri says the only way that she would be running is if someone was chasing her,
but Zabrina said the analogy really helped.
Tomorrow is #14 ~ that is half way

Keep lifting Zabrina up to our most awesome God
Suzanne

Pray and hold on tight

Zabrina has had a week of radiation. We all were told by the medical staff "that compared to chemo, radiation would be a walk in the park." Well ~ so far that has not been the case. The set up (a 2 hours session) had to be repeated. Then the machine that administers the radiation kept turning off, so what should be a 10 minute process took an hour and that has happened twice. Bri lays on a metal table so she has had a lot of back and leg pain. Bri says, they should say ~ it is difficult in different ways compared to chemo. Now, we are holding onto the hope that next week will be closer to a walk in the park. Everyone tells Bri how good she looks and she does but she says ~ she is waiting for her insides to catch up. Because, on the inside she feels like jello.
Thank you for praying and holding on tight to Zabrina like Debi Nicholls did for her friend Anne Hjelle, who was being attached by a mountain lion. Debi said, "she was not letting go!"

Seeing Pink!

Thank you!
Over the past several weeks Zabrina has heard from friends and family who walked in the Race for the Cure and the Strides Against Breast Cancer.
We are all so moved by your love and support for Zabrina.
A statement that I continue to repeat ~ I so do not want my daughter in this place but I am so thankful for the prayers and out pour of support you all have given Bri.
Thank you to Rob, Sarah, Jeff, Marcia, Chris, Jayme, Kim, Carl, Alana, Lisa, Dr. Friedman, Laura, Valerie and Jena. These are the ones we know about ~ if you walked or gave a donation let me know and I will add your name.

Zabrina is still on the road to recovery
physically she is getting stronger
emotionally Bri has stretches of good with some roller coaster moments
really ~ we all still have the roller coaster moments
We were told, we are still in the "heat of it" a lot is behind Zabrina and we thank God for His powerful healing hand. Keep offering up prayers to God for Zabrina.
Bri still has radiation (6 weeks)and the side of effects of chemo

The picture is of Rob and Sarah ~ they walked in Columbus for The Race for the Cure
Oh what a brother and sister-in-law do for their sister/sister-in-law:)

Baby Steps Forward

On Thursday, Zabrina went to school and did chapel with her students. She talked about God being the vine and we are the branches,and we are to bear fruit. Then the children traced their hands to be the branches and added grapes that they cut out. One of her little girls in the class, told Bri she found out that she could let her hair grow and then cut it and give it to Zabrina. How caring it that! So if Bri shows up as a red head ~ you'll know where the locks came from. Everyday, I see more of my daughter returning. I did not realize her road to recovery would also include Zabrina having to reclaim her life ~ she is doing it ~ she is made of some amazing stuff.
The picture with this post is one of the gifts Zabrina received from MHCA ~ they sponsored her surgery. From the day Zabrina was diagnosed, her students have prayed and believed that God has already answered. God tells us to have a "child like faith"
and we have been given many examples to model after:)
Friday is an appt with the radiation oncologist ~ Bri would like to skip this step and honestly ~ all of us who love her would like that too. But Dr. Friedman says it is a 3 step process and this step has to be taken. Keep praying ~ I know you are ~ thank you

Finding the new normal

As you know the surgery went as planned. Zabrina recovered very well and the pain was maintained. She was sent home with a drain to prevent infection which was not only burden physically but it made her feel tide to the hospital. Last Wednesday we had the post-op follow up and everything looked good and he pulled the drain. That drain must have been attached to a switch inside my wife because she walked out of that appointment a different person. The sun was shining, she had no more tubes attached, and just a feeling that we just might make it through this.

Everyday has been better since. The energy level is increasing slowly but surely, more importantly is that her ambition to do more is increasing rapidly. So well infact that we escaped on a whim to Columbus for the weekend to see Rob and Sarah. A great low key fun visit. We made it over to Fishinger and Kenny for service on Sunday morning to say some thank yous and meet with some people who have been in this battle with us. Everyone was thrilled to see Zabrina and couldn't believe how well she was doing.

Sometimes we forget she is only a little over a week post-op, and I know she wants to be able to do more. She does great for about 3hrs than can use a little lay down to recharge. Everyday is a little better physically and could not be more proud of her.

My Phoenix has risen from the ashes.

Surgery complete

Surgery is over, she is headed to recovery. Our new life begins now. Thank you all for the prayers and support.

Will update more when we know more.

1636hrs.: Well we are in a private room thanks to some string pulling by friends on the inside. The surgery went as planned and only took about an hour and a half, right on time. The nurses and staff are exceptional at Richmond General, very nice and obviously care about their patients. We had a nice turnout of friends and family. It was a much more emotional experience for me than I had anticipated. She will more than likely be staying the 23hrs 59min. 59sec. that they will allow her just to manage pain and get some of the anesthesia out of her system. The road has not ended but we never thought that 4 months would go so quick and that we are already to this point. Our new life started today and our Phoenix has risen from the ashes. Never underestimate the strength of a woman, as if you needed to be told that.

More to follow, thank you all again.

Some Updates

Zabrina had a PET scan 4.13
Dr. Friedman called her that night to say good news
a cancer free scan ~ the chemo did its job
and thank God, Zabrina's body tolerated those treatments
tomorrow is Zabrina's surgery
Pray for her
Zabrna says "her faith, family, friends, God sent doctors and prayer
is what has taken her through this journey

Katrina told Zabrina she was going to pray
"that all of this leaves Zabrina as fast as it came."
That gives me a very good visual
because this did come on so quick
and I now envision God taking it all away that quick.

At the end of one of Zabrina's doctors appt
with great compassion, the doctor told her, she needed
to get tough and concentrate on getting healthy
So she has been working on "getting tough" to get
through tomorrow.

Spring Time!

Spring arrived March 20th ~ I remember a friend, whose sister is now cancer free, share how she watched her sister blossom like spring after a long winter.
I held onto that visual. Now I can say, I am witnessing my daughter emerging from a long winter with the spring time beauty that God blessed her with.

Bri finished her last treatment ~ that means 4 months have passed
Surgery is next on the schedule ~ keep the prayers flowing, this is a lot
I look forward to my message to all of you saying it is summer and Bri is done with radiation. Plus summer is Zabrina's favorite season

God at work

one more treatment

tomorrow Zabrina has her last taxol treatment. While we are very thankful this is the last chemo treatment and her body is responding so well to the treatments, it is still going to be a very tough week for Bri. This treatment gives a lot of arthritis like joint pain throughout her entire body. One day she said to me "my body hurts from the top of my head to the bottom of my feet, then she said you know, none of my organ hurt though." A blessing is she does not remember this pain from treatment to treatment. God erases the memory and Bri says that is a good thing because she is not sure if she could do it again if she remembered the pain.

We had a ladies day at our church on Saturday and Zabrina did come for most of the day. God sent an angel by the name of Lisa, who had breast cancer when she was 30 years old ~ she has been cancer free for 7 1/2 years (yes you count the months too). Zabrina has not talked with anyone who had breast cancer at 30. For me, witnessing the hand of God as Lisa and Zabrina talked was very humbling. A line from a song that we sing at church is ~
We are standing on holy ground,
For the Lord is present and where He is,is holy
I witnessed Gods awesome love for our daughter ~ and we indeed were on holy ground!
I know you all are praying and I wanted to share this God moment with you

We were headed to an appointment with the surgeon and bri was feeling overwhelmed and scared ~
Kristen texted Zabrina and said, "cancer has no power over you, because the blood of Christ has covered you and He has all authority over you"!

Luck "O" the Irish

Well happy St. Patricks day everyone! Just a little update and time line for ya. Not sure if we leaked the good news about the genetic testing. Zabrina was tested for the genetic strands that would pre-dispose her to this nasty disease and she passed with flying colors. She always has been a good test taker. What this means is that she does not have to have a bilateral mastectomy or deal with the whole ovarian issue. What a relief to not have to worry about passing this on, or dealing with more surgery.
We just had round 7 of 8 yesterday and it is going as it has in the past. The crazy thing about these drugs is you can set your watch to the side effects and how she is going to feel. Dr. Friedman is still very impressed with her progress and we have him do exams just so we can here him say everything feels normal. Last round of chemo is the 30th then we gear up for surgery. We will be meeting with the surgen next week to learn more about the procedure and what to expect. She will go for a PET scan the third week in April and surgery the last week, so mark your calanders for some seriouse praying time. Radiation will start about four weeks after surgery. So we should be done with the physical side this nightmare by end of July. The phsycological and emotional stuff will last a lifetime.
We are so thankful for all that has been provided for us and cannot thank you all enough for what you have done.

We Feel the Love!

For Zabrina's B-day a couple of her gifts were fun sandals for summertime and as the kodak moment shows we had a pedicure! Focusing on pretty toes and lazy crazy days of summer that call for sandals, is a prelude that proclaims we are on the other side of treatments, surgery and radiation. A recurring statement I make is that "on the other side of this, I know we are going to all be good."
Thank you to so many of you for saying happy birthday to Zabrina in so many loving ways. At church we had a beautiful hat and scarf day ~ many of the girls at church wore scarfs/hats to say to Zabrina "we are supporting you". Bob, thanks for spending time with Jeff turning money into sound. Tiff ~ on Monday you were an answer to prayer for Zabrina, armed with the word of God.

A girls lunch with Erin and Gabriella ~ fun.
But before we get to the other side:
Monday is the next taxol treatment ~ one more tough step for Bri. Keep praying ~ I so don't want Zabrina on this path but I also know God is healing her ~ spirit, mind and body.

Happy B-day Zabrina

Rob and Sarah came to Mentor this weekend to celebrate Zabrina's b-day
Zabrina's b-day is Thursday March 5th
For sure having your b-day while going through treatments gives an emotional spin like none other.
I remind myself, that Zabrina is going through a season of life that will pass
but sometimes the minute to minute can be so overwhelming
Tomorrow is the next taxol treatment at 9:00a ~ keep the prayers flowing

Share with Zabrina

Zabrina had her first taxol treatment Monday ~ Jeff's observation that taxol leaves Zabrina in a much different place than the (AC) treatment did, is oh so true. With AC her mind and body were both beat up by the treatment. Taxol leaves her with a lot of joint pain but her mind is very clear ~ Being alert is good but it also leaves her with a lot of time to process what has happened, what is happening and what is yet to happen on her road to recovery.
Ok, with that all said ~ I have a request from all of you ~ one of Bri's comments is she misses her life. On 12.8.08 life as Zabrina knew it was put on hold. Everyday that Bri was at MHCA she brought home a cute story about one of the children.
Share with her the lighter side of what is going on in your life.
For those of you who have children or work them share your cute stories.
You can email, text, add it to one of your cards that you send to her or leave a voice mail.
Some of you are already doing this and she enjoys sharing those stories with her family. Sonya ~ a day in the life of her children, Mere ~ creates a visual that leaves Zabrina laughing. Kim, I shared the story about Liam and "the pledge".
Also let her know you are lifting her up in prayer and holding on to her tight. If you saw the story where the mountain lion was trying to take her friend and she would not let go, that is how tight we are holding onto Zabrina.
Bri needs to know you are in this fight with her and holding on tight!

Happy Valentines Day

First, thank you to all of you who continue to express love and concern in your very own personal ways. From a phone call saying consider yourself hugged, to a card that says I've got your back! Those are all such encouragements!
I have realized that this road to recovery has many twists and turns. Some days almost have some normal moments, then there are days that we fall into a pot hole and have to climb out.
Monday, Zabrina starts round 2 ~ there are 4 treatments to round 2 ~
Dr Friedman says this round has concerns but that Bri is done with the really bad ones.
Since this will be the first one of this round, we will spend up to 5 hours for this treatment. Keep the prayers going up to our awesome God.
An example of some normal moments is Zabrina decorated cupcakes for Valentines Day for her students at MHCA ~ I took them into her class and they were very excited ~ telling me how much they love Mrs. Lee.

To all the followers we don't know about

I would like to make a request to all of you who visit the blog and are not signed up to please do so. You don't have to leave any comments, just sign up so we know your there. We know you are out there tracking Zabrina's progress and it would just be neat to know who's following along. Don't feel pressured to participate, but by all means don't hesitate to sign up. You are all now invited to come out of the shadows and be recognized, and by all means feel free to leave a comment or thought. There is a link on the right side of the site for Prayers, Scriptures , and Well Wishes if you do not want to make a comment about a posting you can do so there.

Thanks

Last of the worst

By the time most of you read this we will be well into round 4. The last week or so has had it's share of ups and downs and in between. From a procedure that holds a silver lining, to a meeting that pulled the rug out form under us and back to zero again, it has been quite the ride. The good news is we are back on track again thanks to the great Dr. Friedman. Once again he has come through for us and I truly believe he shares our love for Zabrina.

This experience has opened our eyes to many things, and Zabrina and I can't get over the impact that this disease has had on us and that's not all negative. Let's just say that things have been put into perspective. Not that things were that out of perspective, but the insight that comes from "tragedy" can be very inspiring. Just tonight I was telling the wife that when I discuss our ordeal with people it is not in a negative light, strangely it is with a message of faith, hope, and pride. This process has pushed me closer to the Lord and my wife, and for this I could not be more thankful. The pride I feel in sharing how strong Zabrina is cannot easily be expressed. I know she didn't sign up for this, but she is truly an inspiration, and I am confident that there will be even more incredible things that come from this. Don't get me wrong this sucks on many levels and I can really only give my perspective with a touch of what she is going through.

We have talked a lot about how a few months ago our biggest problem was deciding what color to paint the living room. Now we are making decisions that really matter. Please, please, please, put things in your own lives in perspective. If her going through this has no other effect than those we love taking stock in what really matters than this just might have been worth it. We now live life 15 minutes at a time and that is a beauty and a beast. Right now we do it because of physical reasons, but we pray that this is the way we remain when this is over. By living 15 minutes at a time you take it all in, the good and the bad, we feel our time and not just let it go by now.

This is not the worst thing that could be happening, although it does rank up there on the scale. Let's all make this experience be a permanent change in how we approach life. Take the time today to tell the people in your life that you love them, don't get in a rush to move on to the next task, and be thankful for the blessings that you have and not bemoan the things that you feel are missing. If everyone does this than it takes cancers power away and gives this whole mess some real purpose.

Thanks to all of the snow and ice we started getting some water leaking through our picture window. Any other time this would have been a big deal, now we just say put a towel down. So all of you "put a towel down" over the things that seem like big deals and put things back in perspective.

God Bless

p.s. The picture is of the best sundae ever. We enjoyed this on our anniversary cruise while at downtown Disney. It is one of those things that we will forever think back on and count as one of our blessings. It was 15 minutes of shared bliss with my wife that I would not give back for the world.

one more day...

Zabrina had a procedure done today, she is recovering this evening. Last night we had a bringing it to Jesus in prayer meeting. Tiffany, Kristen, Mona, Zabrina, Jeff and I poured out our hearts to God. First, we talked and laughed a lot which was amazingly good medicine. Kristen's story about buying her son a Jesus statue from the dollar store and Tiffany saying "I thought Jesus was free to us, I did not know he cost a dollar".
As we held hands and prayed, I realized the power of a circle of those who call on the name of the Lord.
So, as we moved through the events for Zabrina today, I envisioned the numerous prayers that surrounded us.
again thank you for your prayers

FYI
Zabrina's next treatment will be next Monday 2.2.09
The treatment was moved back a week because of today procedure

THIS IS A LOT

With each passing day of this journey for Zabrina, I become more acutely aware of how much she is in a fight for her life. Cancer/chemo continues to test her physically and mentally in ways I could never have imagined. I know you all are praying and I know God is and will continue to hear and answer the many prayers.
I am with Bri a lot and I find this so hard to comprehend. It would seem because we know the next treatment is the last one of the "really tough ones" should help ~ but honestly, it does not. Zabrina said, it is like she has been shot with a gun three times and has to be shot one more time. Friday we go to the radiation oncologist which will be an appointment where we are going to receive a lot of information to digest.
I think only four months of treatment but honestly watching Bri get through 15 minutes of all that chemo has left her with and without makes 4 months seem almost unachievable. But I know we have to go forward.
When you pray for Bri
Pray that He heals her spirtually, mentally and physically. Because I know when she is in a good place spirutally her mental and physical well being will follow.

Round three

Sorry there hasn't been an update for a while but there was nothing really remarkable until Monday. Monday started at midnight for us, as most days do begin at midnight this is not remarkable except that we were awake. Some of you have had the pleasure of meeting my best friend (dog) Maximus. Well he had been sick for a couple months and was being treated with no real results. Long story short he made a turn for the worse and was sick all night until I had to make a decision about 6am. Zabrina and I drove to my vet and the decision was made to put him down. It appeared he was in quite a bit of pain and discomfort so we gave him the best gift we could, a painless sleep. My mom was able to meet us at the vet and the staff there were very accomodating of our situation. Lot's of tears shed and I'm hurting pretty bad about now, we really miss him. We still have Bravo and those of you who have met him know that's of little comfort:) He's a bit of a nerotic freak.
After that ordeal it was back to my mom's house for a quick regrouping before heading off to round three. Everything went as planned and we had a nice talk with our social worker Jamie. She is very pleasant and helpful and as of next weekend off the market. We caught her when she slipped up and mentioned a fiance' and completely turned the tables on her. She will be a great asset as we progress through the next phases.
We met with the great Dr. Friedman again and he was positve as usuall. He is consulting with the Radiation Oncologist and Surgen to get the surgery ball rolling.
The wife is resting and recovering well, the fatigue is strong but the nausea is pretty light.
Sorry I can't muster much more for you all now, been a rough week and the details are kind of blurry.

Thank you all again for the prayers and to the sponsors for the care packages we really get a lift from them.

A Lump A Bump Don't Worry Just Hurry

Today Zabrina and Jeff went to her school, Zabrina wrote a book to read to her class to help them understand why Mrs. Lee is not their teacher right now.
Early after the diagnoses, a night when sleep would not come, Zabrina formed "her story" about the process from the lump to chemo to the cure with lots of prayer. The words came to Bri and the next morning she wrote them down.

Zabrina is still in the nadir (low white blood cell count)
So Jeff had the idea of rather than Zabrina wearing the mask, have her students wear the mask. Jeff wore scrubs, had the children wash their hands with purell, put on their mask (because they are going to be the doctors that help Bri get well).
Zabrina likes to say, Jeff was her opening act.
He warmed up the crowd very well!
Zabrina was not sure if she would make it through reading this part of her life that is unfolding for her day by day without crying ~ she did.
Zabrina then said, they could ask her any questions they wanted to about the book or they could ask what she got for Christmas. There were some questions about what they had just learned but then they wanted to know what she got for Christmas and wanted to tell Mrs. Lee what they had got.

Another day to say God is Good
God gave Bri the words for the book
He gave her an amazing husband that complimented the reading of
A Lump A Bump Dont Worry Just Hurry
He gave her the energy to go to school and share with her children

PRAISE GOD!!!!!!!!!

Well an update for you all. We had an appointment with the oncologist today, the great Dr. Friedman. We were a little apprehensive and really not trying to predict what he would say, this was the first follow up with him since the treatment began. We began with a idle chit chat and then discussed some of the "little" stuff like constipation and prescriptions. That all went well and then he performed his exam on my Bride.

He palpated her left breast like he was playing a piano and then a look came over his face. It was a look we have seen before, you know the look, it's the kind that could go either way. That "huh" didn't expect to find that kind of face. Then he looked at Suzanne and I and said "Guys, this is amazing". The rest I cannot directly quote him on but it went something to the effect of I CAN'T EVEN FEEL ANYTHING. He said what he was feeling was remarkable. At this point shock of a different kind set in, the good kind, similar symptoms but good. The discussion then turned to our next course of action.

At this point lumpectomy is back on the table as an option, this was not even a thought at our first meeting. This news also means that we have bought time, the time to discuss everything with the surgeon and the radiation oncologist to determine the best type of surgery and treatment. In the meantime we are still doing the chemo until we have all the info we need. She will be getting the remaining 6 treatments it's just a matter of what order we do it in. The first four rounds of chemo are the worst part of all of this, the second 4 are a different kind and have different less potent side effects. Our doctor even makes math sound good. Today he said " You're half way through the hardest part".

The fight is far from over, we are not "cancer free", but we are in a great place considering the only other options we could have heard today where "it's the same" or "it's getting bigger". The past 3 days have been particularly tough and we have really been feeling the battle. Yesterday Zabrina and I came to a little breaking point, and today our prayers have been answered. We remain cautiously optimistic while we let this new news set in. We even had to ask the doctor if we were allowed to be excited about this, he reassured us that we were.

So a big PRAISE GOD and big THANK YOU to all of you. Keep up the good work.

Prayer Page

It has been suggested and agreed that we should have a separate page just for prayers and well wishes so not to muddy the page. So here it is, please feel free to post a scripture, prayer, or just a "thinking of you".

Winner of Five Rounds ~ Zabrina

Nicole Johnson performs drama at the women of faith conferences. One of her skits was about breast cancer. One of the lines in the skit is, I may have cancer but cancer does not have me. Seeing my daughter take control and decide to have her hair buzzed makes her winner of round 5
Round 1 Finding out she had cancer ~ still standing
Round 2 Three days of medical testing completed
Round 3 Completing her first treatment
Round 4 Completing her second treatment
Round 5 Deciding to buzz her hair

In the video Nicole talks about being angry ~ Bri has not been angry, she just repeats the doctors all saying "we don't see cancer in 30 years olds ~
you are too young"

Thank you for your prayers ~ God hears and answers
Continue to pray for Zabrina and Jeff
Sunday Bri's white blood cell count will be low for a week so pray for God's protection for her immune system.
Pray for her as she see her oncologist tomorrow (an amazing part of her team)

Oh, if you would like to watch Nicole's video the link is freshbrewedlife.com
(scroll down ~ Nicole is in a boxing ring)

Taking some of my power back!

Taking some of my power back!

It was Saturday morning as I showered that my hair started falling out in clumps in my hands. I spent the next few days trying to clean the mess that was left with every move I made. Well Thursday morning, a dear friend came over and helped me take some of my power back. I thought to myself in these terms, I can let it happen or I can make a choice for myself. Now the next morning, I had quite the comedic act going with my new buzzed look. Such things as “who authorized this hair do?” And “Do not let me go to that Best Cuts on Vine St. ever again!” Along with a few verses from Sinead O'Connor hit songs. All in all, I think it does not look to bad. I am not sure it is the look I have always wanted, but it is not the worst. I told my mom at this point my only choice is to grow it out.
Thanks for the prayers! I am here to tell you they are working!
God's word is perfect and always right on time
This is my verse for today :
“But those who hope in the LORD will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint.” Isaiah 40:31

The Giving Tree

I would like to put together a "symbolic reminder" of your prayers and words of encouragement for Zabrina and her family. I am not sure what it will look like... maybe a Tree with your words of encouragement hanging on note cards (like apples) from the branches. I will work on thinking of some creative display.

Anyway, please email me any short notes, scripture versus, and/or prayers for Zabrina or her family that you would like to include.  Please keep them relatively short (1 paragraph max), however, you can have more than one little note or prayer... just number each little "tidbit" you want me to include, so that I know how to separate them. Make sure you sign your name, so I know who it is coming from. 

  My email address is thesarahj34@juno.com.

Also, if you are interested in sponsoring a treatment (ie: putting together a gift bag for Zabrina to open at one of her treatments), please let me know. I also have a number of gift ideas, so I can help you if you like. Some of my gift ideas are a little pricey, so you can also let me know if you want to "go in on a bigger gift" with some others. 

Finally, as you continue to pray for Zabrina and the Davlin/Lee's, it would be great if you could pray specifically for:

1) Protection for Zabrina as she endures the hardships of chemotherapy

2) Strength for her family, as they hold her hand through this process.

Gotta tell ya, you all rock!!!. Well God rocks, but you guys sent up the prayers. Zabrina is doing great today. We had to go to the doctors office for a shot (by going back today it saves us $2400 per therapy) and she was up and handled the car ride well. She was even feeling well enough for some retail therapy at Legacy Village. Still has the nausea but it is well under control, I believe my french toast to be medicinal now. I always new it was good but healing powers is just amazing :) Last night when the nausea was at it's worst we said a prayer and within a couple of minutes she was fast asleep and made it through the night uneventfully, truly a blessing from God.

It's off to work for me tomorrow so I just wanted to say HAPPY NEW YEAR to all of you and thank you so much for the help, 09' is looking better already. I wish you all a happy and safe evening. Say a couple extra prayers for everyone in your life tomorrow, you're already gonna be up at 11:11 so make some good use of those 49 minutes.

God Bless

Round two...ding, ding

Well round two has begun. Once again the nurse (Gina) and the medical assistant (Lisa) were awesome. Willing to answer our questions and do it with a pleasant, reassuring attitude. They are truly two of our Angels. The therapy went as planned and lasted about 3hrs. Have to give thanks to my sister for stopping by for this treatment, it was a pleasant distraction. Even if she did just use it as an excuse to escape the kids. I have to say that our treatment room was the most filled and had the most laughter.

Currently we are dealing with the whole hair loss deal. It really started this weekend and has become more of a strain than at least I expected (what do I know, I'm a guy). The tricky part about the treatments is timing, and when things happen when your headed toward 4 days of nausea and fatigue the last thing you have time to deal with is wig hunting. So we are morning the loss of those pretty locks and trying to decide on whether to beat the chemo to the punch and cut it off or let the process happen naturally. There is no right or wrong way, it's just what's best for the bride.

So begins the 4 days we dread the most. Blockbuster has been raided for it's best new releases, and the saltines and ginger ale are stocked up. Please continue to send up those prayers and post some encouragement they truly make the best medicine.

Keep up the good work team

Christmas

Monday evening (12.22.08)
Zabrina said the chemo fog was gone from her brain.
She says her mind is ready but her body is so tired.

Another praise God, because her treatment were started earlier than first planned, she was past the 3 days of low white blood cell count. This meant Bri could get out of the house to be with family for the holiday.

Rob, Sarah and Lionel came and we shared a fun day together. You all who are moms know that the best present for a mom is having all her babies together!

One of Bri & Jeff's presents from Rob & Sarah (well, they said it was from Lionel) was a blow up Santa for their front yard. You all know how they feel about the blow ups. Zabrina said, oh it is on! I look forward to seeing what Jeff & Bri buy next for Rob & Sarah.

Zabrina and Jeff went to his sisters Christmas eve ~ the boys and Lila were very excited and they all enjoyed their time together. Jeff's mom (glinda) gave Bri a red kitchen aid mixer ~ she does enjoying baking. So next Christmas, she is going to be the baking queen.

On Christmas day we went to the Keeney's again another perfect day with a lot laughing.

We have such a hard time wrapping our heads around the fact that Zabrina has breast cancer ~ and we all are so protective of her. Honestly, as her mom, I was not sure in some areas if I saying the right thing. So the first week, I would clarify a lot and she told me, Mom you are saying and doing the right things.

And we know, sometimes people are not sure what to say. So, for Bri, thinking about what might be said and not knowing how she would react to something that might be said was a bit overwhelming for her. You all know Zabrina plays all of the possible scenario over in her head and the possible response. It is part of her being a person who likes to have a plan.

Praise God ~ every loved one that we shared this week with was so loving and
most of all they were themselves.

Today, Bri and I are going to go wig shopping ~ a reality that is hard. She knows, her hair will grow back but it is one more part of her that the cancer/chemo takes from her.

I know you all are praying ~ and we see God's hand working everyday in so many ways. Monday 12.29 is the next treatment.

Also remember to pray at 11:11a or 11:11p ~ I set the alarm on my phone, so I would remember. How awesome,to know that many prayers are being offered up to God for Bri is so comforting.

Note to my son-in-law:
he said, I do not use punctuation or caps in my blogging.
So when he reads them to Bri, he does not take a breath,
so, this one is for you, caps and punctuation : )

What does is mean to "Sponsor a Treatment?"

Does Zabrina have health insurance, you ask? Yes, she does. She has excellent and comprehensive coverage... one of the many perks of being married to a fire fighter. If you are willing to put up with your significant other running towards fires instead of away from them, the city picks up the tab for your health care. Most of the time Zabrina likes to pretend Jeff sells insurance, but salesmen have good insurance, too, right?

Anyway, "sponsoring a treatment" means that you would like to contribute to a gift basket OR organize a "gift basket" to put together for Zabrina to receive each time she goes in for a chemo treatment. She will be going in for chemo every 2 weeks for the next few months. The treatments take a couple hours each time and, as you might imagine, can be wearing on both the soul and the body. We would love to organize a gift basket to give Zabrina each time she has a treatment to boost her spirits and show her love.

Though Zabrina, Jeff, and her parents may not be up for visits and phone conversations at this time (due to exhaustion, sickness, and the delicate state of Zabrina's immune system), trust me, your words, thoughts, prayers, cards, and the little symbols of your care speak volumes and encourage them like you wouldn't believe!! Rob and I have been a little bossy in telling them all not to return phone calls or accept visitors right now, because they have so much on their plate and need to take every spare moment they have to rest and take care of one another. Every time we speak with one of you, though, we always pass on your love and well wishes... thank you for being so understanding and flexible. You really have been!

Anyway, back to sponsoring a treatment...in the gift baskets we want to include notes, cards, scripture verses, and fun/pretty little gifts to encourage Zabrina. If you need ideas for "little gifts".... gift cards, lotions, DVDs (she can watch them during her treatment), magazines, and whatever else you think of would be great. You do not need to spend a lot of money (unless you want ; ) and don't feel like you have to give a gift. A card or note would be wonderful!) We all know Zabrina is a "girly-girl," so anything "girly" or "cutesy" she would love. Things to stay away from: food (her diet is restricted), books and puzzles (her mind is very fatigued).

Zabrina's next treatment is Monday, December 29th. If you want to contribute to the gift basket, please email me at thesarahj34@juno.com. You may also call me at 614.619.4033. If you would like to be the one to organize (ie: collect the contributions from everyone else for the basket) for the treatment on the 29th or an upcoming treatment, please let me know. I could use some help with this since I do not live in the area.

Thank you all. Again, as Jeff said in his post.... Zabrina, The Lee's, and the Davlin's are so very touched by the outporing of love. Though they are really only able to communicate with family at this time, the voicemails, cards, texts, emails, and meals bless them so very much. They cannot wait until the day Zabrina is healed and they are ready to celebrate and "party" with all of you once again!

Sarah Davlin (I am the wife of Little 'Bro, Rob = ) )

wizard of oz

Thank you for the countless expressions of love
for sure I know the many prayers, the outpouring of love
expressed by each person who cares about and loves Zabrina
is a part of her road to recovery

oh yes about the road to recovery
when Jeff and Bri picked me up to go to the oncologist
I ask where his office was and bri said off of 271
Jeff said, no it's not 271, it is the road to recovery
so when you travel on the road to recovery say a prayer for Bri
remember to pray at 11:11a or 11:11p

Zabrina received gifts from her children from MHCA ~
she opened those this morning ~
thank you for gifts that will be part of her journey

Thank you to my husbands sisters and brother for touching base
with him ~ that is the first thing he tells me after he has talked
with one of you ~ he needs that

Thank you to Linda, Michael, Becky, Katrina and Kim for bringing our
Christmas tree to life! I had got the lights on it but no ornaments and
had pretty much decided that wasn't going to happen
The ornaments look great ~
what struck me more was the presence of love
I felt when I walked into our living room ~ wow
and leaving the last ornament for me to put on

Since Bri was diagnosed, she wakes up thinking
I had a really bad dream that I have cancer then
she realizes it is not a dream
and honestly her dad, me, Jeff, Rob and Sarah all feel
we are living a very bad dream
that this can not be true
Really, I think God has anesthetized us and that allows us to function
His word tells us he will not give us more than we can bear
and because he loves us so
I know he gives us what we need to make it through the day or sometimes
what is takes to make it through the next 60 seconds

Here is the part that makes us smile about that
Well, since she has decided it is a bad dream ~
she has compared it to the Wizard of Oz and we all have our parts ~
that makes for some smiles

I know you all are praying ~ keep praying

Just a little public service announcement from the team.

First off you have all been so respectful of our current situation (sounds like she's knocked up or something), and for that we are thankful.

Secondly we know that many of you are jealous of Suzanne, Mr. Davlin, and myself for getting all of the visitation time (just kidding about the jealousy), but in all seriousness you know your jealous.

We know you all just want to visit and chat and encourage the healing, but it is just to tiring. We all love to hear from you, but we have a hard time connecting the thoughts sometimes. Not to mention having to say the same thing over and over again. Obviously we want to encourage you all to call and leave a message or send a text letting her know your praying for or just thinking of her, but phone conversations at this time are just to draining.

As for the visits, even though the physical tiredness has lessened, the mental fatigue is still pretty strong. With time this will change and the party will take place, but until the boss says so the visits are a no go. She knows she doesn't have to "entertain" any of you, but even just telling the story is tough.

Please don't be offended or feel slighted, this is not directed at anyone (well except for Bob), we just felt the need to explain why calls may not be answered. We/she could not be more moved with the outpouring from friends and family and the shear fact that 21 people have even signed up for this is amazing. The fact that we even need a blog stinks.

With all of that being said here is your mission. Please, please, please keep sending your prayers and words of well wishes and we will be communicating as we have been. If you could help us out by keeping those who may not be reading this up to speed we would be appreciative.

Love you all and thanks.

Peppy and almost drug free

I got a chance to chat with Zabrina yesterday. She had some spunk to her. The unfortunate part was that all she had to share was what she has been watching on TV : )

Turns out right now her pain is so low she is able to grin and bear it. Mostly because the side effects are, well, let's say a "pain in the butt." So that means she is only taking the anxiety meds.

We chatted some about Christmas presents and plans for next week it is very refreshing to experience the cheery Zabrina we all love.

mom thoughts

We ask Zabrina on a scale of 1-10 what are you today and her reply is
"10 being best or worst" our answer 10 being best ~
she says she has to clarify the rating scale
today she is a 5.5 heading towards 6 she said
from saturday until tuesday she ate fruit and saltine crackers
she said a belt is a must to hold up her pants:) she doesn't want to lose
them walking from the living room to the kitchen
wed & thurs she has ate real food
her pain has decreased greatly

I had a mini melt down (just a mini one)at Sams club yesterday
on the phone with my son
kinda of funny, when I think about it now because I was not aware of any
other people in the store

I know I need to take care of me so I can be with Bri and I have a hard time
even voicing that because Bri is the one going through chemo
and I somehow still think I can do all the things I love to do

words of wisdom from my son
he said Mom 4 things you are to do every day count them on one hand
1. God
2. take care of me (so I can be there for Bri)
3. be with my husband
4. and one extra thing
and I said I have to add him and Sarah (his wife)
so that is 5
Rob said and with the other hand ~ I am to hold Bri's hand

my husband spent the evening with Bri tonight ~
he said they laughed a lot
for sure he can make her laugh
I love hearing it

Kathleen came and cut her hair Monday
very cute ~ I think she looks like Kate
from Jon & Kate plus 8 ~
but they do not have the 8 and she is married to Jeff not Jon

for all of us if Bri is having a good day
we all are having a good day

thank you to those who are going to decorate our tree
do you know how many ornaments I have?
that is one of the things that I keep thinking I could
do but Rob called tonight and ask if I wanted help
every day this week I thought I could do it but I have not

tomorrow Jeff works
so I will be with bri ~ I did not see her today

I know you all are praying and I need to know that
I find the most strength from the prayers

today the emphasis is on
Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death I will fear no evil
the evil is from Satan ~ our evil right now is cancer
and our awesome God is victories over evil

wow my thoughts have been all over

News from the trenches

Hello everyone!
Here is your news from the trenches for today and thankfully there is not much to report. My wonderful bride was very awake today, which is a huge improvement over the past few. The pain today is down to a 1 out of 10 which means the pain pills have not been needed today. This is a huge relief because of the side effects (drowsy, constipation). Our GOD sent doctor continues to impress us at every turn, returning calls and giving the perception that we are his only patient (and yes I use the word "we" because they truly are treating us all).

We have started a grading scale for our days and today we hit about a 6. Basically like a flu, up for a little while rest for a little while. She is getting her appetite back a little at a time and keeping the fluids flowing in. Thankfully they have all been staying down since day one.

My Mother in Law was a trooper and took over the nursing duty last night while I was at work. It was harder than I thought to go, but I'm glad I did. The guys at work are very supportive and have offered to cover my shifts if needed. The prayers are now coming from several fire departments in the area as the news has spread. It was good to get back into the mix and luckily we had some exciting runs to keep us busy.

It also served to empower us all in our ability to take care of Zabrina. In the movie "We were soldiers", Mel Gibson said something to the effect of know the job of the man above you and below you because in combat you may have to know it. And now we know and have the confidence that we have each others back.

Thank you all, and keep up the good work.

What is normal?

We are told we need to work towards normal
so yesterday I went to work and today Jeff went to work ~
I spent the day with Bri today

we are told we need to do normal
for sure, for right now, we have a new normal
on a scale of 1 -10 ~ 10 feeling good ~ today was a 3

we went to Pat Catan's, (a local craft store) she wanted to get supplies to
send in for her kindergarten class for Christmas gifts they are making ~ she did it!
as we drove there, we were not sure if she would be able to get out of the car
That was our fastest shopping trip ever ~ in and out in 20 minutes:)

then we came to our house in Mentor and she went to bed
she keeps waiting for this bad dream to be over
Bri said every time she wakes up thinking she has had a very bad dream

pray for God's healing
God has answered so many prayers ~ an amazing doctor,
she is tolorating the meds,
the time of year that both her dad and I can be with her,
an amazing sent from God husband
her brother and sister-in-law that keep in touch daily
family and friends that expressed love in so many was that we need a new
word for love

this chemo treatment has been a tough one ~
so mind boogling as a mom
wanting her to have treatment, knowing how sick she will be
I keep saying
"Yeah though I walk through the valley of darkness ~ I will fear no evil"
I focus on the walking and we she will walk out of this victorious and oh
what a party we are going to have:)

THANK YOU!!!

Hello everyone,
I would just like to say thank you to everybody for the support Zabrina and I have been shown and we are only in week one. You people better not burn out on me:) The outpouring of prayers, offers of assistance, and food have truly been overwhelming and moving.

I want everyone to know that we have the utmost faith in God and our doctors. The medical team we have working with us are truly top notch. I cannot say enough for the University Hospitals Ireland Cancer Center. From the early detection to the immediate treatment, it has been a moving experience. It all happened so fast and so smooth we really didn't have time to shop for doc's, and we are so glad we didn't. Dr. Friedman and his staff have called us after hours on their own time to check up on us, and have treated Zabrina and I like humans not just another patient. We are truly blessed.

A few highlights of the past week:
-After receiving the diagnosis on 12/8 at 3:15pm, we were in the Oncology office by 4:30
-By 12/9 all of the pre-testing was scheduled by noon
-12/10 and 12/11 were spent scared, tired, and in testing offices at the Cleveland Clinic and UH (that's right, they arranged the tests at another hospital to make it work with our insurance and timing)
-12/12 at 11:30 we met with Dr. Friedman (oncologist) and received the "good" news about the cancer being confined to the left breast
-12/12 at noon Zabrina began her recovery. First round of chemo was done by 4pm.
-Since then we have had some ups and downs as far as her comfort level, everyday a little better.

It is so incredible to know that within a week of diagnosis my wife is already on the road to recovery. We still have our fears but we trust in the Lord to get us through this.

Special thanks to Rob for getting this up and going so fast so that we can update you all. Sometimes it's just to hard to hear the words when talking on the phone as opposed to typing. So please do not be offended if you get the voicemail.

Thank you all again, we love you and couldn't do this without you.

The road to recovery begins

The road to recovery has begun. Over the next four months normal will be redefined for our family.

This past Friday was Zabrina's first treatment. She will receive chemotherapy every two weeks for the next four months. The fisrt and second month's treatments will be comparatively stronger than the third and fourth months. All treatments from here on out will be on Mondays.

Cancer has only been detected in her left breast and they will do a few treatments to help shrink it before committing to a surgery. We are hoping come time for surgery that a lumpectomy can be all that is needed.

The fridge is overstocked, the answer-machine is blinking, and we couldn't feel more loved.

Many of you have asked how you can help out. If you are interested in helping out you can do so by "sponsoring a treatment" Please call 614-580-5102 or email me Rob.Davlin@gmail.com

In order to help you help Zabrina, you can sign up to "Sponsor a treatment." You can sponsor a treatment in various ways.

• Giant Eagle gift cards (they can buy prescriptions, gasoline, and groceries)
• Send cards (include Bible verses on note cards)
• Text message her little hello's
• Text message Bible verses
• Email her: zabrinadavlin@gmail.com
• Youtube.com videos of you saying hello or a funny story

Also you will find a calendar which has Zabrina's treatment schedule and the sponsor dates as well. We will share updates with you here. You can sign up on the blog to be notified of updates automatically.

Philippians 4:13